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Monday, June 29, 2009
I FARKING MISH SKOOL!  lately ive been rOtting @ hOmee till sat i went bck 2 werk @ ma attachment palce. da dae strted Off Ok..mished it actuali.. hahakz..bud it was freaking tireing it all seems bck 2 square 1 2 mi.. cOz itz been quite sum tym ive ended attachment & da tOuch wsnt thr.. sO kindaa gt clumsy..hakz.ma painting tOtally sucked. bud Overall it was aitex.. mngr said wen she needs mi she;ll ring mi up.. hakz..sO im lyf da part time stand by satff. right nw i realli need a full tym jOb. im intrested in thOse make up bOtique.. well hOpeing 2 gt mac Or bOdyshOp kindda staff.. gOnna get gf's 2 tag alOng 4 jOb haunts sOOn. cn sit @ hOmee any lOnger liOa! grrrr.. i needa tOp up ma bank acc bby.. lOlx.. L O V E i dunnO wads happening.. dae by dae it a tOtal diff thing.. itz lyk a feeling lyk im nt even att.. Or ma bf dOesnt even exist.. im rebelling.. i give up.. i give up putting high hOpes On relatiOnship.. i dO haf Other stuff 2 wOrry abt 2.. adding On 2 tish.. it juz seems all ''qns marks????'' evari 1 says werk things out... hw am i 2 werk things out wen the Other party will neva understand? 2 mi his reactions are all hard 2 read n explain. it owaez turns Out 2 b lyk Ok wad..nths happeing in Our relatiOnship.. grrrr... sum 1..plz hit mi on ma head.. if cn juz take Out ma heart n slash it.. im still sticking 2 hym.. hOpeing things wld get bck On track.. da Other part.. im nt sure...shld i end it? bud dh syg..nk uat pe kn.. his giveing mi da hOpe tt he lOves mi as much as i dO.. im waiting 4 da dae 2 chg 360. im lack Of lOve here..  yey! gOtta meet minty! minty bOoked Out frm camp & gave mi a ring.. sO i met up w hym near ma area while i was abt 2 meet irah @ mac..Omgd! i was sO freaking happy 2 c hym... kate rindu2 banget sama dia kn2! tOld minty i wanna hug hym i c hy, sehxx.. i fucking mish eu sia! hym:ala ku bau ler lain kali.. haha..wen i saw hym i almOst teared.. yea..he was reali very da bacen.. lolx.. dh gelap sehxx nO mOre matt indOn liOa.. badan ahem nmpk.. gaaahh wait2.. wait 4 mi. mish mish hym sia.. sO we sat n chatted awhile.. thr were sO many things 2 share.. 2 many surprises 2 hear abt.. 2 many sad stOries share 2 eachOther.. thr were lOts... seriOusly as ma daez were dwn.. wen i gOtta meet hym.. i was reali cheered up by hym.. minty.. ingat kO sOrg sia skrg. hahakz.. niwaez.. b strOng in camp.. gd luck.. kate nk hawt2 mahz..  irah was sadly blOgging.. sad?y? i pity her as well.. she gt all dissapointed wen she fOund Out stuff On her Own irah all i cld dO was 2b a listening ear 4 eu.. cOz thrz reali nth i cn do.. since eu yaself fOund Out.. i believe eur strOng.. hOpe eu'll nOe tt da tear eu teared 4 hym is a tOtal waste. lOok 4ward.. im sure thrs sum 1 Out thr whu appreciates eu n tt tear 1 dae.. =)  hahakz.. i was sO carveing 4 it.. ta da pa pa pap IM LOVEING IT.. Posted @ 9:36 AM Tuesday, June 23, 2009
 A day whc suppOse 2 be a dae by da pOOl! whch Oni turned Out 2 be a dae by da lake.. hakz.. galfee kOled mi up in da mOrn 2 cOllect bck her bag. while i was aslp..retuned 2 her kOl wen i wakee.. had a few mins chat till she said she was heading dwn 2 jrng 4 a swim w zul & asked wad was i dOi..as i had planned 2 meet farhan 4 a jOb lOOk Out..wen i maself feel lyk gOi Out in search 4 it..tOld galfee nt sure wad was our plan..gf asked mi n farhan 2 jOin her & zul.rang mr bf up & had a lOng argument juz 4 hym 2 tag along 2 pOOl was sucha hussel.. i juz cldnt understand his prOb was...im lyk gOi adw frm here 2 near his palce 4 a swim yet itz sO hard 4 hym 2 wanna cum..grrr.. in the end he agreed. met gf & went 2 meet zul.. Off we went 2 haig rOad 2 gt gf's & mr zul's baju 4 raya dOne.. tt tOok lyk dunnO hw many hrz.. while bf gt me all worked up Otp! reached chinese garden arnd 4+.. waited 4 bf..& headed of 2 jrng swimming cOmplex.. hakz! Otw thr bf & i were in arguments bt evth. he tOtally spOlied ma mOOd.. whr else bth cnt seem 2 argue withOut ending w a smile. grr i juz hate tt part.. he Owaez makes mi laugh nO matter hw much anger im in.. bud deep dwn he doesnt nOe hw much heat i haf in mi.. it sO freaking hard 2 make hym understand..(bck 2 swimming) wen we reach thr.. kia:TUTOP???!!!(lukz @ mi) bf:arhkar ler..tutOp.. mi: bia btl? kia:dorg cuci2.. mi:luk @ bf bf:seriOus i lupe.aru ingat kia:tkkn kO tk taw.. bf:serious lupe.. kecOh perz! kite sumua mangOk sia pt situ.. tym check was arnd 5.45 till we crack our head 4 nearest swimming cOmplex.. since we r readi here any near by pOOl. figured Out mOndaes pOOls r clOse 4 da west side i guess. sO decided nO chOice in the end ended up in lakeside 2 chill2 till sunset. Otw hOmee fOught w bf again.. Over & Over again.. never ending.. haha.. me kia were lyk so sad sehxx.. bOohOo..in the end nO swimming.. hahahahakz! kecOhz keperz!  gf w bf  hym w his head pain  ma muke bacen withOut make up! =( nO swimming  angry face      Our fake smile haha =( Im a gal whc sO much within herself. @ tyms i juz wOnder Y ON EARTH DID I BORN! things haf been happening sO much in ma lyf lately.. itz been reali2 hard 4 mi.. tinking bt evth reali hurtz mi so badly.. y..y muz i even cum intO tish wOrld.. wen gOd has readi nOe things wld turn Out tish wae.. y muz he even create tish path Of lyf 4 mi.. ive gOne thrOugh lOts.. been strOng since i was yOung.. whatever has happened & wadeva ive lOst in lyf.. nO 1 will nOe.. as ive been reali strOng On the Outside.. ani 1 whu nOes mi.. mite think their lyfs are da 1 in sucha mess.. lOtsa headache.. all i cld dO was 2 b a lisenting ear 4 dam.. bud wen they dun even nOe wads happening within ma Own wOrld.. breaking dwn in the middle Of the nytz..middle Of da dae.. wen i wakee has been a usual rOutine 4 mi..as i cn hardly bare evth... as i nOe dat vari dae is cuming right 4 mi..i'll end up................... i nOe..i reali nOe whr i stand nw...id rather end up dead sOOner den 2 be liveing wen i nOe it'll be the end 4 mi.. tinking n tinking makes ma head heavier each dae.. nt nOeing hw am i 2 lead ma Own lyf.... wen i dun even haf a guardian 2 lead.. all i need is a career nw.. & next step will haf 2 b sum 1 w a strong appeal.. a guy whc cn reali take care Of mi i dunnO if dat guy in ma lyf nw wld.. whc is reali impOssible.. i nOe whr things will end up.. let juz things turn Out itself.. faith i'll say.. trust nO 1 dey say.. includeing ya Own blOOd.. ive learnt frm da hardest.. IMSUFFERING... IM NT STRONG ANIMORE.. ITZ GETTING WEAKER.. im aiming 4 da fnsh path in my lyf.. I WANNA BE UNBORN! PS;gOi bck 2 werk tish sat.. Posted @ 7:55 AM Wednesday, June 17, 2009
 sOwiex 4 da late updates.. hakz... chalet was ok.. nt reali dat fun thOugh.. bud Overall it was gr8! nt much turned up.. all i did was cycle w sum Of ma gf.. & gt ma haired curl by zirah! omgd! itz freaking nice sehxx! regret nOe!! i sO wanted 2 curl bud ma hair is shOrt nw! bud shOrt2 Oso nice lehz..haha.. bck 2 bbq.. den started da fire.. i kept bbqi..bud din eat much! seriously..i was freaking hungry.. bud cnt seem 2 eat..i was juz thirsty!!! drank lOts! evth was bOring.... till sunset! wEeeeee........ wasnt sure if ma dae wld be a tOtal waste! bud guess wad...       S U N S E T STARTED IT WAS TYM 4 FUN.. haha..wtching mOvee w gfs n eachOthers bf was fun..Y? haha..cOz fiza's bf kuai2 was sO freaking kecOh lahz sehxx..fiza all was lyk readi giveing da red light tt sape2 dOk seblah kuai nasib ar..haha in the end shidah's bf sat beside hym haha kecian..seriOusly 2 theatre kuai keje kn sehxx..i cldnt stp laughing all cOz Of hym..eu shld c hw fiza struggled..haha sblm yg scary part klua dh member ter kejOt kn Org..! hahaah FUNFUNFUN. aft mOvie evari 1 was sO dead beat tired & return 2 chalet 2 find Out all were drunk.lol..while i gt bck @ chalet wana & izzul was gOne..cpt sehxx dia chOw..nvm i guess she had werk in the mOrning.nicO was aslp while da rest wOke up cOz Of us..haha in the end sumua tuka shift..it was Our turn 2 slp while da rest gt chased On to da floor..haha..nolahz..it juz happened..wOked up in the wEe hrz 2 search 4 fOod w kuai2 n bby..as we Oni fOund 1 packet Of crabstick in the friged.aft tt all headed bck 2 slp & it strted raining..wOooo ape lagi...ZZzzzzzZZZZZZz...................wen i wOke up shidah ''nana kite dah denga kO snOre''OMGD! i tOt it was bby whu snOre sO i said nt mi wak lahz yg snOre...''tklahz bkn wak..ko lahz nana'' sO we tOOk turn 2 take Our shOwer while da dudes were still aslp..wakeee2 dam up... checked Out Of chalet & gt Our ass hOmeee..   ma curls          bby & kuai slping..  On Our wae hOmeee  @ the end Of the dae.. bby was sucha sweetheart! seriOusly he surprised mi by getting alOng well w da rest Of dudes.. & din spOil ma dae..he tagged alOng w mi adw w a happy cheery face.. bby..tankee 4 being thr w mi & takeing Of mi da whOle nyt! lOve eu! IM SOOOOO GONNNA MISSSHHH ALLL MAAA GGGFFFSSSSS!!!!!!!!
Posted @ 8:37 AM Sunday, June 14, 2009
 i cnt seem 2 c y friends give up their Own friends juz 4 da sake Of relationship.i tOt being in a relationship is smth tt eur gf/bf is suppOse tO haf a trust n respect their Other parties fwens. i nOe itz reali hard sum tyms eu really haf 2 sacrifice ya gal-frens juz galfee... & ya bOi-frens juz 4 ur bOifee..@ sum part yea.. itz tOtally acceptable. bud wad if uve kwn sum 1 since skOOl daez? lyk 7-9 yrz? well yea actuali isnt tt big deal yet.. hakz.. bud evth was smOOth. till Out Of a SUDDEN! tt guy fren Of urz tells eu Out Of nO whr.. ''if i were 2 cntc eu,she'll ask mi 4 a break up'' sO i we shall juz end da kakak thingee.kite act je k? aitex tish part wen we were in skool daez it sum hw ended up tt tish paticular dude became lyk a brother 2 mi. each n evari 1 of us were all very clOse.till thr were sum issues btwn eachOther as in da rest den evari 1 juz split! his a reali nice guy. bud... @ tish pOint Of tym.. i dunnOoo.. im all sO wOrked up abt wad eu msged mi juz nw! seriOusly.. i nOe she means alOt 2 eu.. ive readi said earlier.. we shld juz loose cntc. bud it was oky cOz we hardly cntcted eachOther Or met besidez festives Or bdae parties. bud nw eu c? i cnt say anth..... cOz she's ya gf..& im juz a fren Of urz. ive siad it all. but ku tk phm ar.. ape yg kO mrpk tadi psl if i din ans ya kol she;ll make ya lyf miserable by gOi 2 pOlice. & y On earth ish she standing On 1 leg 4 eu 2 end it w mi? HELLO! i hardly cntc eu.. neither dO i kol eu! hOpe eu'll tink back abt all the things had happened btwn us.. im nt trying 2 tOk big here... bile kO ssh sape yg tlg kO? i nOe tt msg was juz 2 fake it. bud since kO dh blh ckp gitu den wadz da pOint kn? lyk i said kO tkcr je. nice nOeing eu! TOMORROW!!!! FINALLY DA CHALET HAS ARRIVED!  weeee... lyk seriously i cnt wait 4 tmw! bud im dead bit tierd here! wOke up early am juz nw...rushed dwn 2 geylang market juz 2 get da stingrays n stuffs 4 bbq as ms tan reali wanted ikan pagang whc i did @ da previOus chalet. wEee...da teachers lOved it & sO did i..haha.. din nOe i cld make nice fOOd..lolx! gOtta wakee tmw lyk arnd 7 2 prepare da fish. & gOtta b @ dwn @ 10am as we'll b receiveing an award.. tish award thingee has given us abit lecehy..cOz we gOtta b in fOrmal n presentable attire.. yet we've Our big bags lucky ms tan is Ordering fOod accept 4 mi! bOohOoo... haahaha...nvm esp 4 ma lOvessss gf! lolx.. HOPEING MA DAE WNT BE RUIN TMW whch it has readi been ruin 2dae friendship+relationship wadz next 4 mi? i juz cnt c y cnt eu juz tag alOng.. y cnt eu 4 Once give in.. im nt even asking eu 2 cum Out a cent.. all i want is eu 2 b present w mi.. i nOe eu wanna spent tym w mi alOne.. bud itz a big dae 4 mi & gfs & ween their bf's are tagging alOng.. y cnt eu juz b lyk their bf.. y muz we Owaez be dOi da same thing Over n Over again.. haf eu eva tOt bt ma feelings... thrz sO many things i wanna say 2 eu... itz sOoooo hard 4 eu 2 juz shut up keep still n listen... i reali hOpe tmw i'll get a chance tmw 2 haf a gd chat w eu. i wanna settle things. O F F 2 C H A L E T..... Posted @ 5:58 AM Friday, June 12, 2009
sweet-lovey dOvey-gd gal? 1ST Of all lyk finally im uplOading a clear pix Of ma new ugly length hair whc i went trim. bud it luks lyk tt lady juz took da whOle bunge Of ma hair & went lyk chiq chiq Ok? YA..VERY WOKAY!!! grrr..i was burning i tell eu.. i wanted 2 trim a bit Of ma lenght. bud wad 2 dO.. itz gOne & cnt b undOne! i luk lyk a FREAKING MINAH!!!!!!! i LUK MORE FATTER! I CNT HAF MESSY2 HAIR LIOA! hahakz.. trying 2 style2 w it thOugh.. 2 mtnhs will it grOw? hOpefully. nw evari 1 claims i luk very gentle. grrrr! aitex wOke up @ 8 2dae juz 2 gO bck 2 skOOl as ms tan wanted mi,fiza,shidah 2 help Out w elderly fair thingee..whch we had 2 dO manicure, facial & part Of bOdy massage 4 dam. i reached skOOl On tym while fiza n shidah came later. i was surprise 2 c da jaun & april intake students 2. as i tOtally 4gt. i became ms tan's phOtOgarpher 4 da dae & alsO help Out w massage. nt lahz..quite relaxing..as tish tym rOund thr wsnt much fOlks. besidez had we had chances Of cOmmunicateing w da newly bty students. da qns dat came Out frm their mOuths were similiar.. evth was all abt I.A! hahaha.. i felt sOoo da SENIOR lahz sehxx! hakz..bud i gave dam ma very best advise i cld. din want dam 2 make da same mistakes lyk sum Of ma klazmates did. oklahz.. dey were friendly thOugh. gd luck 2 dam! =) evth ended arnd 12.. fiza & shidah headed Over 2 ma place mac n chill as dey din wanna gO hOme early & had nO plan.. since i was sO da malas 2 bwk baju & due 2 circumstances Of gOi hOmee n klua lagi...dey juz chilled @ ma place mac w ma lappy entertaining dam.we had sO much tOo tOk abt.. thr were sOo many tOpics! wOooo... esp bt Our up cOmeing klaz chalet! hahaha.. we certainly haf sOo much Of plans up Our sleeves. im sure we r gOnna haf FUNFUNFUN! COUNTING DWN:2 MORE DAES 2 15 JUNE class chalet the final. PS;BEEN SICK LATELY!  i nOe ma face sucks by dOi tt! dO eu nOe wad it means by sengaje?!  bOyOt w Our mummy L A S T L Y  HAPPY ANNIVERSARY 2 US.. Things haf certainly been a rOller cOaster ride 4 da bth Of us.. evth has chg.. bud im nt sure if the lOve eu had Or still haf 4 mi haf chg? evth recently haf cum dwn 2 1 wOrd..BUSYBUSYBUSY.. I nOe as a galfee im suppOse 2 understand evth.. but wadeva im dOi cnt seem 2 make eu understand tt i understand eu wae enuf..bud eu... eur da 1 whuz nt understanding mi.. if i were 2 tell eu itz eu whuz da 1 whuz unable 2 juggle things in life.. eu'll Owaez juz say tt i keep blameing eu.. & i Owaez put it in a wae tt itz ya fault! wen im nt.. itz been really hard trying 2 make sum 1 i lOve understand wads in ma mind & letting it Out 2 eu hw i feel. as eu shld nOe in return hw things Owaez turnz Out. itz been a while since ive last met eu. even nOw tish mnth dOesnt seem tt big animOre. yyyyy? i guess eu shld nOe da reasOn yyy? all i cld dO was 2 cry in silence by letti evth Out On 2 maself..ma Own self.. dae by dae all i cld c was our lOve being rebell & da lOve i haf 4 eu... i hOpe.. eu'll strt shOwing mi directions bck 2 whr we were b4.. Or Otherwise.. hOpe things are find btwn eu... im waiting 4 dat precious kOl. gt hOmee safely. Posted @ 8:11 AM Monday, June 8, 2009
 im bleeding within w sO much Of hurtness in silence.. evth seems sO nt the usual me. am i Out 4 revenge? i wOnder. lately tish sOng has been stuck in ma head aft hearing frm a fren's ipod. thOse wOrds juz gt mi reminded bt ma relationship. i chged sum part of the wOrds.. sO yea.. here it gOes. lately i've been thinking about what i can do i've been stressing to fall back in love with you i'm so sorry that i couldn't follow through but i can't go on this way. i've got to stop it baby you've been wonderful in all that you can be but it hurts when you say that i dont understand you so believe me. i, i am sorry, i, i am sorry, i, ii wanted you to be there when i fall i wanted you to see me through it all i wanted you to be the one i loved the most i wanted you,i wanted you & i still want you i wanted you to hold me in my sleep tighter i wanted you to show me what i need & lack off i wanted you to know just how down deep i wanted you, i wanted you to be by my side.. i've been pushing hard to open up the door trying to take us back to where we were before but i'm done. i just can't do this anymore'cause we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now we've been walking around in circles for some time and i think you should know my love is rebelling so believe me. i, i am sorry, i, i am sorry, i, i, i wanted you to be there when i fall i wanted you to see me through it all i wanted you to be the one i loved i wanted you, i wanted you i wanted you to hold me in my sleep i wanted you to show me what i need i wanted you to know just how down deep i wanted you, i wanted you i, i... i'm so sorry baby but i, i... i gotta back out but i, i'll always remember how we came close... to being how i wanted to be i wanted you baby i wanted you i wanted you to be there when i fall i wanted you to see me through it all i wanted you to be the one i loved i wanted you, i wanted you i wanted you to hold me in my sleep i wanted you to show me what i need deep down i wanted you to know just how deep down i truely love you i wanted you, i wanted you..im scared itz fadeing theres so many questions on my mind but i just cant seem to..all cause of you. our lOve was da strongest.. but now it doesnt seem sOo.. your acting as if nth has happen.. im sOoo dwn w evth.. im keeping evth 2 maself.. not knowing how 2 let it out 2 you.. you use to be the 1 i pour out my feelings 2.. but now? itz so hard 4 mi 2 dO sO.. bOi.. i want da old eu back.. i just wish i cld rewind evth back 2 da 1st tym we dated. PS;tkcr 4 tmw's trip 2 bintan. Posted @ 9:14 AM Friday, June 5, 2009
 Happy bdae 2 u.. Happy bdae 2 u.. Happy bdae 2 arsh.. HAPPY BDAE 2 EU! HAPPY 23RD BDAE TAYA DUDE. all the best wished in lyf. EALIER when out w galfees 2 karaOke @ grandlink. & left quite early. things 4 mi hsnt been really smOOth. evth has chg.. includeing da ppl arnd mi. im strti 2 lOOse 1 by 1.. n sOOn 2 lOOse sum 1 dear 2 mi. i knOw it will happen sum tym sOOn.. Or i dunnO anytime? later?next week? next mtnh?next yr?tmw?later? i dunnOoo! evth has chged! bud i dunnO bt dat persOns feelings i f it had chged. i nOe eu dun even haf tym 4 mi. eve gt ya own prObs.. sO dO i. eu said eu want mi 2 undersatnd.. am i nt understanding enuf? i knOw @ tyms i juz cnt be patient. i get sO wOrked up. & strt asking eu negative stuff. i wnt bother dat sum 1 aft he had said ''break it off'' as in take a break? ttz wad he claims. ok. i'll juz be dOi ma stuff. n i'll nt bother. hOpe things btwn eu will get clear. im being understanding. i'll ntt create any more add on probs 2 eu. =) i needa gO werk sOOn. i need $$$.. hakz.. i guess i'll n bck 2 werk by next week Or aft ma klaz chalet. pix 4 2dae will be updated tmw. im shack & im Of. BYE! (sOwiex if ma post vari da mrpk 2dae) PS;itzfadeing..iwishicldrewind.. Posted @ 8:52 AM |
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